The Battle for the Bread at Walmart

Don Giles from Antiques, Uniques, and Metaphysics put off preparing for the big snow storm until 4pm the night before.  Deciding to try Walmart to see what’s left, he stumbled upon just a few loaves of bread.  But he wasn’t alone.  Many other shoppers noticed them as well and what would happen next became a true, but humorous story of the battle for the bread:

Okay, true story.  I put off getting bread, milk, etc., until yesterday afternoon – well, I taught and didn’t get home until after 4 pm. I took a chance on Walmart. When I went down the bread isle, well, you know I could hear crickets, I came upon a forlorned looking old dude coming out who shook his hanging head and simply said, “Slim Pickin’s.” Well, I responded, “Don Giles.” Honestly, I thought Slim Pickin’s was dead.

Anyway, the only thing I found was a loaf of sourdough pumpernickel with raisins, or something like that. That was about it. However, when I went to get the milk, I noticed an end cap by some of the frozen meats in the aisle. It had like 6 loaves of white bread on it! I eyeballed it.  Then I noticed another woman eyeballing it. I faked toward the cheese but then cut back toward the bread.  She anticipated my ploy, heading right towards the bread.  However, I used my cart as a shield and snatched two loaves.

When I did, as if in slow motion, 100 shoppers turned and with eyes as big as saucers began rushing towards me. I saw my life flash before my eyes, and it wasn’t pretty.  One mother yelled at her son, “Go get that bread!!!” Well, before I saw any blood shed, I veered off to my left, down the soda pop aisle to get my A&W. Yea, I know, I’m sure I’ll be dreaming about that nightmare for years to come.

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Posted in Food & Drink, Fun & Entertainment.

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